The Monster Within Me
by andrella07
Summary: The ceremony of Bo's Dawning is just around the corner and she still hasn't managed to pass through the gate in Trick's cellar. Though devolving into an Under Fae, Bo kisses Lauren goodbye, thrashes her fears, and in typical unaligned succubus style, gives it her best shot.
1. Freedom not Faedom

**The Monster Within Me**

**Andrella07**

**Summary: The ceremony of Bo's Dawning is just around the corner and she still hasn't managed to pass through the gate in Trick's cellar. Though devolving into an Under Fae, Bo kisses Lauren goodbye, thrashes her fears, and in typical unaligned succubus style, gives it her best shot.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl, just Canada. And just kidding. This is a simple work of fiction for entertainment and nothing more. Don't sue me unless you're going to buy me dinner first.**

**Rated: M. Can you even have a Doccubus story without smut? Surely there's a rule out there somewhere that says that.**

******Reviews: Don't make me sic a succubus on you to get what I want.**

What?! Andrella07 writing for another fandom! You bet your steelbook edition of Retribution I am! If you're checking in because you're a fan, then I am so happy you're here. And if you haven't seen the show Lost Girl, you really should. (The first two seasons are available quite easily through Netflix if you have it, and there's always the one month free trial if you don't. You can find season 3 all over the web with little effort. My solemn vow: you won't regret it.)

Takes place 'in/after' the episode "There's Bo Place Like Home". Yes, I know – it is unaired, but from the previews I hope to put together something substantial. I am going to say that Bo will not be going back home in the course of the story as I am not writing everything that's been shown to us. I don't possibly know EXACTLY where the episode is going and why, so just think of it as an AU version of the episode… which you have yet to see. :)

Once again, I must thank my beta/girlfriend for her bad influence! Lost Girl + Me = is all her fault. Come to think of it, a lot of my "good ideas" are a direct result of her influence…

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 1: Freedom not Faedom

"_I'm not changing into a monster, I've always been one."_

That's what she'd said to Kenzi mere hours ago. How she wished she could tell Lauren the same. Her best friend tried to convince her she was crazy, that she had seen – every day – the signs of normalcy that could not be faked or replicated, but, of course she did it with that vocabulary and sincerity that was so uniquely Kenzi's.

The last few days had been Hell for her, the nights were worse. It was preparing for The Dawning that was exhausting her. Trick said he would be there for her every step of the way, but there were things even the Blood King couldn't do. Her Fae evolution was at a pinnacle – rewards or demise promised at either end, and no way to pass unless she could _focus on the now, shift consciousness and achieve an effortless merging of action and awareness_. It was such utter bullshit. Fae born into the Fae world would've had hundreds of years to learn what it took, but something had triggered hers early. Hopelessness was an effortless fall back.

Practice had led her to an incredible number of failures. Every time she walked toward that arch – no matter how determined, she was repelled with a blunt amount of force. Her ass had been bruised more than once, and it was just the fake door meant to simulate what would happen. When Bo entered the proving grounds on unaligned territory for the ceremony, she would get one chance and one chance only. Her grandfather was firm to make her understand when the last possible time was to try – when she underwent the final sign of devolution: growing horns. There was no way she could possibly wait that long. All of the other symptoms of a devolving Fae were too horrible to tolerate. A stronger sense of smell, growing nails, graying skin, change in eye color accompanied with loss of vision, an increase in acting on baser instincts all throughout, and horns – no. She would walk through the door as soon as she made it through the practice one; at least, that's how she tried to comfort herself.

The elevated sense of smell was already getting on her nerves. Mornings, when Kenzi coated her hair in fixing spray – Bo spent holding a cloth to her face. She couldn't stand the way it made her feel like the inside of her nostrils were coated in acid. And Dyson! The man constantly smelled of wet dog, a rather unappealing attribute. About the only thing that smelled better, if it was possible, was Lauren. Even when she was coated in some kind of crazy chemical that Bo couldn't possibly hope to identify or pronounce correctly, she could always scent out that sweet pomegranate flavor.

Tomorrow morning, she had a meeting with the Morrigan. She needed counsel, and not from more Light Fae. Trick, Dyson, Hale… they were all useless. Not one of them could describe to her what it was that allowed them to pass through the gate. They all made statements that lacked commitment and real thought. "My Dawning was so long ago, I hardly remember." "I walked right through it. Wolves do not hesitate in the face of danger." "Um… Let's see… I just told myself to do it because I knew my Dad would have whooped me for embarrassing him." She needed Dark Fae perspective.

Tonight, however, she was expecting her girlfriend. Bo couldn't stand the thought that these might be the last days with Lauren; at the same time – she couldn't stop the truth of it. She went nowhere without texting Lauren, calling her. The succubus didn't dine without her, wouldn't even lie in bed unless she was there too – it was that bad.

"Bo, honey. There you are."

The brunette looked up from her seat on the mattress and met her girlfriend with a steady smile. "Hey," she rasped, getting up and wrapping her arms around Lauren. The doctor copied her with a shy smile of her own. "You smell like… horses." It was quite curious. Though the woman was newly showered, her hair still damp, Bo could smell all the things she was familiar with growing up in a small, farming community. Hay, sawdust, oil, and a small undercurrent of iron – or blood.

"I helped a centaur give birth today," Lauren responded as she beamed. "I guess I didn't wash up as well as I should have. You can help me fix that later." She winked and turned around in Bo's arms so that the succubus could hold her from behind.

"Why, doctor," Bo whispered in her ear. "Is that an official invitation to help you – scrub up?"

Lauren almost sputtered from her overwhelming desire to laugh. As it was, she couldn't stop her stomach from bouncing with glee.

"Come on, Bo." Lauren pulled Bo toward her bathroom and finished, "I need to check your vitals again."

The succubus clicked her tongue. "Not again. You just did it after lunch."

Lauren's eyebrows perked, pulling out her favorite tool on her favorite patient: her puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

Bo succumbed with a shake of her head and a quiet look of I-wish-I-could-hate-it-when-you-do-that. Blood pressure, temperature, and heart rate were all elevated beyond Bo's normal, but not extreme. Trick's tonic was wearing off and soon the changes would be happening faster.

"How was practice today?" the doctor questioned as she looked Bo over for visible signs of mutation. The other woman shrugged and turned her head away in shame. Lauren reached for the side of her face and brought her back to share a gaze. "You'll figure it out, Bo. You always do."

The pair stumbled on the path of lost conversation and into silence while they readied for bed. Bo's head was running a million miles a minute, synapses firing on frustration only. She was sure Lauren's brain was doing the same, trying to think of a way to help her. When they were apart, that's what the doctor spent the majority of her time doing. Collecting information on The Dawning, though many Fae were reluctant to talk to a human for the unaligned succubus, never mind that Bo had been paramount to their survival. There was something to be said of Bo's tact: for every friend she made, she created twice the enemies.

Once in bed and with only the bedside light on, Bo faced Lauren and brushed the hair off the side of her neck to get a better look at her. "You are gorgeous."

Lauren licked her bottom lip and took it between her teeth, her cheeks warming with embarrassment. "And I'm never going to get used to hearing that from you."

Bo rolled her eyes. Sure, she was sex incarnate, but Lauren… Lauren was love. And she needed to show her that.

The brunette moved in, pulling Lauren to her in the same instance until their hips matched the state of their mouths. Arousal was immediate, and since Lauren seemed just as adamant to end their night this way, she didn't cap it.

Being a succubus had it perks – like instant feedback in the form of Lauren's aura. The brunette's sixth sense always told her if she made the right move. Moving to kiss Lauren's neck as she forced the straps down on the doctor's nightgown was just that. Lauren's own hands were roaming up and down Bo's back, her nails scratching along the fabric of Bo's top. Why they had even bothered to wear clothes to bed was a mystery.

Bo was in the process of leaving a hickey in a choice location when there was a sudden pain on her backside. "Ow!" The doctor's hand remained where it was, searching for the reason behind the reaction. "Ouch! Don't poke that!"

"Sorry," Lauren said, then rose to a sitting position and readjusted one of her shoulder straps so that the fabric would stay in place over her chest – much to Bo's disappointment. "Are you hurt?"

"It's just a little bruising. I picked the wrong fight with that stupid gate at The Dal."

Lauren forced Bo to lie on her front, but not without ample protests.

"Hey!" Bo twisted her head around to see Lauren pulling down her shorts. "If you wanted to stare at my ass, all you had to do was say so," she ribbed with a smirk. The human was quick to return it with just as much as mirth.

"That's quite a contusion," she diagnosed, tracing the purple outline gently with a finger and liking the way Bo's back dipped to join her spine.

"Yeah, well… The gate didn't take too kindly to me sprinting at it."

Lauren dropped her head and laughed while replacing Bo's clothes to their original fit. "Oh, my Bo."

_She called me hers, _Bo realized the second the words came out of her carved lips. _God, I like the sound of that. _Her girlfriend was back at her side in no time, but what was more – she dropped the remaining shoulder strap on her own before she got there. Lauren's breasts exposed, Bo was more than content to resume.

The succubus took her time, tongue primed to tease erect nipples. Everywhere she went with her mouth, she left a trail of goosebumps and unguarded moans.

"Bo?"

The woman in question left her ministrations long enough for a simple, "Hmm?"

"If you wanted to… feed off of me, to heal your back – you can. I want you to."

A muscle in Bo's jaw twitched. All the time spent knowing what she was and that she could control it was thrown into a pit of nonexistence. The desire to feed was always there, especially around Lauren. But she would never take her chi – she couldn't. On the occasions that she went to the doctor to heal – their intimacy gave her a contact high that was usually enough for her to get a fix. Lauren was like morphine; didn't always solve the problem but she _always_ stopped the pain.

Still… Lauren was human, and therefor off limits. She hated the fact that it made her girlfriend feel like she wasn't enough for her. But all attempts to feed when Lauren offered left her sensitive to guilt, every kind of disgust, and overwhelming fear. What if she went too far? How many lovers had she killed already?

To add Lauren to that list… Bo would rather die.

Still, with impending doom on the horizon, could she really deny Lauren this? She would regret it if she didn't come out the other side of The Dawning evolved – if Under Fae felt anything at all. She knew that her girlfriend would get something out of it too, everyone she'd ever taken chi from always did. Bo had it described to her once, by Dyson. He wasn't a man with the gift of expression, but he imparted onto her the knowledge that he had never felt more intimate with Bo then when she was feeding from him. Lauren had never experienced that bliss, had never known what Bo wanted to give her most – everything.

Bo turned Lauren on her back and climbed on top of her, caressing her cheek when she got there. She kissed her girlfriend and felt the coil of arousal burning in her gut like someone had knocked up the dial to extreme heat. She couldn't lie to herself – the thought of feeding off Lauren was giving her a head rush. The doctor probably would have said something about endorphins and adrenaline, but all Bo knew was that Lauren was the most enticing thing she'd ever seen and that, by her aura, Lauren was just as excited.

The succubus created the vacuum within herself, dislodging and pulling Lauren's chi from what was keeping her alive. Any second – that electrifying sapphire stream would pour out of Lauren. Like taking precious breath from her lungs, Bo hovered a couple of inches from her lips, the stream began to form-

"No. I can't- I _won't_ do this," Bo interjected, eyes shut against the terror that she had almost hurt her girlfriend. She pushed herself off the blonde and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, as far away from Lauren as she could be without standing.

Lauren followed her, and though Bo couldn't see it, she would have bet her favorite pair of brass knuckles that Lauren was pulling her most comforting look. That's why Bo wouldn't turn to look at her. She couldn't live with thinking that she deserved the instant forgiveness Lauren was willing to give her.

"It's alright."

Bo shook her head, her body's rigidity unshakable even when Lauren touched her shoulder. "I'm not like you. I never will be."

"I know," Lauren surrendered. "You want a normal life, but if I had the right kind of 'normal' in my dictionary – I wouldn't have met you."

Reconciliation was in order; Bo could feel it in her bones. She turned back around and laid Lauren down, kissing her from her collarbone to her hips. Fabric was no longer an object for either one of them. Every emotional barrier separating the two of them was stripped from eager hearts; life was too short for doubt and anxiety.

Her mouth between Lauren's thighs, Bo satisfied her lust for energy. It was coming off Lauren in waves – matching every stroke of her tongue. The blonde's moans filled the room. She didn't have to beg, Bo knew long in advance exactly what she wanted, when, and where. But that didn't halt Lauren from doing it anyway, and every time a guttural 'please' or 'more' broke from her lips Bo felt it shatter her reserve to make Lauren's pleasure last as long as possible. Quick and rough, slow and tender – it all led to the same result: an amount of ecstasy that threatened to make Heaven look bad.

When it came time for Lauren to exact her revenge, Bo was full of so much sexual energy that she would have orchestrated her own orgasm for pure release. Lauren wasn't about to let that happen. She grabbed Bo's wandering hand and put it above her head. Lauren's eyes said _naughty_, and Bo's return stare begged her what she was going to do about it.

The doctor wasn't rough with her often, but when she was… she would become addicted to Lauren's 'intensive care'. It was so hard not to match every mark left on her. True, she knew Lauren liked it as well, but if felt a little like hurting her in ways she didn't mean to.

So at the end of Lauren's teasing, when her fingers took action, Bo surprised herself by digging her nails into the doctor's back. The other woman groaned and picked up the pace before making harsh work of the breasts in her care. It wasn't long until the succubus found her peak and pulled Lauren down onto her, crashing into a tight embrace. After a moment or two of hot breath leaving her lungs, Bo could have gone for having Lauren again or vice versa, but something didn't quite feel right. Lauren's back was wet with a kind of slickness that Bo definitely didn't recognize as sweat.

Bo ran her hands up and down her skin, a curious expression settling on her features while Lauren rested her head on her shoulder. The succubus removed one hand and lifted it toward her face to see. Bo gasped, the sight of her palm dipped in red liquid sent a bolt of terror right through her. No more so then when she finally saw why; her fingernails had grown and sharpened into something more like claws.

"Bo?" Lauren lifted her head. "What is it? What's wrong?" With no reply, she got around to glancing at Bo's hand and then looked over her own shoulder as best as she could. "Oh, Bo. It's alright. I hardly feel a thing."

_No, _Bo thought. _Not another sign of devolution. It's too soon. _Her heart was racing, her mind struggling for some kind of solution to this disaster.

Lauren stood from the bed, taking a sheet with her to cover her front. She walked into the bathroom and turned on a light to take a look at the injuries in the mirror. Bo, sitting up even as she felt gravity threatening to collapse around her, took one glance at Lauren's back in the light…

The blonde's skin was covered in puncture marks, like a large cat had decided to sharpen its claws in the flesh between her shoulder blades. Trails of blood ran all the way to her hips, some of it smeared like a finger painting gone homicidal.

That was all it took for Bo to rise, rummage through her clothes and dress. Lauren was occupied with cleaning up the mess and caring for the wounds she could reach. From the bathroom she tried to get through to Bo with nonchalant reassurances.

"Really, love. It's nothing."

"More of mess than it's worth."

"I doubt it will even scar."

But all Bo could hear was every little voice in her head that had ever spoken out against her coming together to scream about the monster within. She couldn't be with Lauren like this; she couldn't trust herself.

The brunette had pulled on the remaining sleeve of her jacket, drying blood flaking when it came into contact with the leather, and was about to walk out of her bedroom when she realized it would be treason to leave Lauren without saying goodbye.

Lauren had just left the bathroom, realizing she had been oblivious to the effect her injury had on her girlfriend. "You're leaving? Right now?" her eyebrow perked. "Where are you going?"

Bo gave no answer. She lifted a hand to pull Lauren in for a kiss, but remembered the nails with crystal clarity before her hand raised above her stomach. She dropped it and stalled her goodbye.

"Honey, it's nothing. I mean that. I am fine," she said as she tried to instill the thought into Bo's mind. The succubus would have none of it.

Rash and sudden, she kissed Lauren. This was goodbye, I love you, and I hope someday you can forgive me – all put into one touch until they met again – in this life or the next. Lauren knew it too. Before Bo could break the kiss, she latched a hand onto the fabric of Bo's coat preventing her from fleeing. When the kiss ended, and it ended way too soon, the brunette looked down at the hand keeping her there. In silence and a gentleness she mustered with all of her being, she pulled Lauren's hand away, staring at the nails that had cut her before.

Bo left Lauren standing there, confused and hollering after her.

The succubus needed to end this. She would go to the gate, no pomp or circumstance to remark at her failure or celebrate her victory. She would know once and for all if she was meant to be with Lauren…

Or not.

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**This Fae right here feeds on reviews, so don't leave me hungry. :)**


	2. Beauty and the Fae

Chapter 2: Beauty and the Fae

"What do you mean Bo's gone?"

Kenzi rubbed the back of her neck, sparing another glance at the doctor who had accompanied her to The Dal. "She left some time last night, freaked out." Lauren hadn't told her everything, the young woman was sure, but she knew enough. She wished the good doctor wouldn't have waited until morning to tell her, actually there was a lot of things she wished Lauren hadn't done – like her best friend. She had seen time and time again how relationships that started on a cliff always ended up over it.

"I'll call Dyson," Trick answered before Lauren chimed in from the corner of the room.

"Don't bother. I already did. She's not there either."

The bartender's shoulders fell. "Still, it would help to send Dyson and Tamsin out to find her," he decided, picking up the phone next to him and dialing.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Kenzi interrupted. "Bo spent an entire decade of her life running from her problems, and you think sicing the Fae version of Sherlock Homes and Watson on her is going to help? She's _almost_ as good at it as I am. Nah," Kenzi shook her head, smacked her hands down on the bar, and pushed away the chair she was sitting on to rise. "I got this." Lauren looked to be hanging onto every word she said for dear life. "To your posts, men!"

Trick scowled, the phone in his grasp producing a dial tone. "This isn't a game, Kenzi."

"Life is a game," she said with a wave of her hand, "and I play to win. Trick, you stay here. Call Dyson, tell him to stay at his place. Lauren will go back to the shack, and if Bo shows up at any of those places whoever finds her can call everyone else."

It hadn't been that long ago that Bo had been on the very same hunt for Kenzi. The girl wouldn't let her down. Whatever had the succubus spooked, Kenzi would take care it. She would remind her why people needed her in _this_ world, not the world of no friends, no safety, no life…

Kenzi was about to pass the doctor, but stopped and gave her the best smile she could muster. "Don't worry. I'll bring her back." There was no question in her mind that she would fail, no fear that she would return empty handed – she couldn't afford it.

Lauren nodded, her jaw trembling though she seemed to try and hold it from showing.

* * *

**8 hours earlier….**

The air in Bo's lungs left in a white, rolling mist. It was cold, damn cold, but it was at least an hour after midnight and she was far underground. Bo dipped her torch into a basin of coal and oil on the floor. The inside of the metal bowl lit up and threw the room into an orange light and moving shadows.

Before her stood a gate, the arch reaching to ridiculous heights, even in the cavern. _Why is everything Fae so over the top? A little humility every now and then wouldn't kill them,_ Bo thought, holding the torch as high as she could to get a better look. The arch was more intricate than the one in Trick's basement and was made of stone instead of coils of sprigs. Some kind of ancient Fae language, a mix of complex letters and hieroglyphs, was carved into the rock. She couldn't remember if they were called stalactites or stalagmites that grew on the floor, but they were everywhere around her and she was sure the other kind was above her too. She wished Lauren was around to tell her.

Truly, Bo was lucky she had found this place at all. There had been so many side passages and small areas to get turned around in. Once, she'd even thought that she smelled the sewers over the scent of limestone. Lighting other torches on her way down was the only thing that had kept her from backtracking and getting lost.

Had she told Trick she was ready to go through with the ceremony, everything would have been prepared in advance. The torches lit, the closest elder ready to oversee, friends for moral support roused and in place. While on the surface a feast would be prepared no matter the outcome. Bo did a walk around the gate and noticed a cage hugging the cave wall behind it. The flames of her torch reflected off of the metal, and a mini vision of her failing the ceremony in all of its glory appeared in the back of her mind. Lauren cried and Kenzi got upset when Dyson and Trick grabbed her devoling form and pulled her into the holding cell.

_Can't do that to them, _Bo thought, shaking her head.

The torch lowered as she felt the steady fear of defeat. Soon this would be all over. Bo turned around and screamed.

"Fuck! Fuck, Tamsin!"

The valkyrie threw her head back and laughed; arms crosses over her chest as she waited for the brunette to notice her.

"Don't do that to me! You almost gave me a heart attack!" Bo's grip on the torch was near strangling proportion. If Tamsin wasn't here to help her, she was sure to have attacked.

"You're the one who asked me to come to this damp, forsaken place."

Bo nodded. "Everything ready?"

Tamsin looked down at the handgun on her thigh and gave confirmation. "Ready when you are, succubus."

"Good," Bo replied. "That's good." She handed over the torch and tried to prep herself. She walked back around, up the steps and to the front of the gate. Bo kept trying to see if her eyes could pick up anything other than empty space through the gate, but there was nothing there. No shimmers, no waves, no mirages – just the cage and Tamsin on the other side.

Tamsin was the only one she trusted to wait for her. That's why she'd called her around midnight, begging her for the biggest favor anyone could ask of another person. The valkyrie was hard to convince, but Bo told her that she was left with no other options.

"You don't have to do it like this," Tamsin tried again to dissuade. She herself had gone through the ceremony. Very few Fae went through The Dawning without it, but it wasn't like it had never happened before. Some came through alright, some didn't…

Bo looked down at the hands, that mere hours ago were doing what they do best: loving Lauren. Her skin was darkening around the finger tips and her nails were just as brutal in appearance as they had been before. Tamsin was wrong.

"Tamsin?" She knew she didn't have to say the woman's name. The blonde was attentive to her every action and every word. "What's it like to be an Under Fae?"

The Fae seemed to be considering some kind of sarcastic mark, but she shook her head instead. "I don't know, but I've seen enough of them to know nobody would want to live that way."

_Alright,_ Bo decided. _Time to stop putting it off. _The woman rolled her neck, squared her shoulders, and strutted for her destiny. Her mind was struggling with doubt and pure stubborn will forcing her to try and concentrate at the task at hand. She had to do this – for Lauren. She _would_ do this for Lauren. Seeing the doctor again, a fully evolved Fae without a worry in the world, would make all of this worth it. For the first time since learning about The Dawning she felt the slightest amount of hope. Besides, what was a gate to the Garuda? And she had decimated the latter in the end.

Every step brought her closer to the high stone gate, but at the last – her willpower stumbled into the memory that she had almost let herself feed from Lauren. She crossed the threshold, passing through the gate and as she did so felt like her body was being pulled in a million directions at once.

A shaky boot found footing on the other side, joined by the other of its kind. Bo doubled over, panting though her skin was covered in goosebumps. She'd done it. All it took was looking at her hands to know that every second spent worrying could have been used thinking of her girlfriend. The color around her nails transmuted into the rosy tint of normal flesh, her nails retracted and reshaped, and she watched it all with a smile on her face in the light of Tamsin's torch. She couldn't even smell the sewer anymore.

Tamsin hadn't removed her hand from the pistol on her side. She couldn't – not yet.

"I did it!" Bo exclaimed, almost skipping down the steps to go to the valkyrie's side because she was so pleased. "I need to go home!" The expression on Tamsin's face was curious. She never understood what her deal was half of the time, but something about her eyes demanded that she rethink her easy _success_. Bo tried to finish what she was saying, but every word was harder to come by then the first. "I need to get back… to… Lauren…"

Her mind was heavy, her hands more so, but she looked to them a final time. Every sign of devolution that was gone before reappeared with vengeance. Lauren had told her that something was killing her cells and then replacing them; this time it was happening like lightening.

Bo hit her knees and cried out as her body died in a fit of microscopic genocide. There was so much pain and confusion. She didn't understand. She made it, she made it through the gate… she could go home…

No, she couldn't get home. As an Under Fae it wasn't safe for anyone. Under Fae lived on flesh and blood, decay and rot, and _everything_ that Bo had never stood for. At least when she was a succubus, she knew beauty and love. She'd known Lauren. Now, she would know the bullet, and the dark, wet cavern that was to be her grave.

Tamsin would see to that.

* * *

Lauren heard a knock at the door. She whipped her head around almost expecting Bo to walk right in – even though logic was screaming at her that Bo never would have knocked on her own door. The blonde stopped her pacing and went to answer it. The visitor was someone she certainly hadn't expected.

"Tamsin? Are you looking for Bo too?"

The valkyrie didn't answer right away, but when she did she didn't meet Lauren's face. "Is Bo missing or something? No, I was just tracking someone, a dark Fae. Thought they might have come by here since she- _he_ was spotted nearby."

"Sorry, I haven't seen anything and there's no one here but me."

Tamsin's shoulders slouched. "Damn it," she muttered under her breath. "You said something about Bo?"

Lauren nodded. "She's been missing since last night. You haven't seen her, have you?"

"Afraid not. I've been on a Dark Fae assignment all night."

"I see that. It looks like someone dragged you through a swamp or something."

Tamsin glanced down at herself. Her clothes were in tatters and stained.

Lauren's eyebrows narrowed in on the other blonde's arm. "You're bleeding," she noticed. Without asking and without fear, she grabbed the woman's sleeve and forced it up as gently as she could. "There's too much of a risk of infection here for me to let you go without treating it." Lauren was in full doctor mode. "Who knows where you've been," she finished.

"Wow, thanks," Tamsin said sarcastically. It wasn't every day that a human could get away with tying to offend her so blatantly, but Lauren hadn't meant as it insult – merely an observation and as such, let it slide. She didn't know if it was a good idea, letting the doctor care for her right now, but leaving might have been too conspicuous.

Lauren went on collecting supplies as Tamsin waited in the living room. It had been stupid of her to come here like this, but Bo hadn't left her much of a choice. Her little slicing and disappearing act was going to usurp her last wish: that if she not come out of The Dawning evolved – she not come out of it at all. A bullet to the head and some choice words to her friends about how it ended, that was the deal. Not this Under Fae expedition and pretending like she didn't know what happened to Bo.

If she didn't care so much, she would have dropped the problem in Dyson's dog bowl and walked away. There had been something special about the succubus. She had come to know what real friendship looked like. She owed it to Bo to finish this with the least amount of hurt spread around as possible.

The doctor returned in a matter of a minute. She seemed to be trying to figure out what had cause the scrapes on Tamsin's arm, but she didn't voice the question. Which was a gift, Tamsin was limited on the number of Fae she could name that could cause such a wound without the clever doctor seeing right through her lie.

"You're all set," Lauren said when she finished wrapping gauze around the arm.

"Thanks, doc." The valkyrie was ready to leave, but she needed a little more inside information. Who was on the case of tracking Bo down, specifically, and what she could do to stop them. "So… is someone out there looking for Bo?"

"Kenzi."

Tamsin almost laughed and blew her cover completely. "No one else?" she asked, trying to hide her disbelief that everyone had left this task to an immature human.

"Everyone else is just waiting somewhere for Bo to show up."

The other woman nodded. "Smart plan. When Bo decides to come back, someone will be waiting to greet her. That's a good idea."

Lauren smiled as best she could. She had never trusted Tamsin much, but something about the way she was 100% behind a plan Kenzi had made was causing that doubt to rise up. Then again, it had been a long night of little sleep, and she needed to focus on Bo's return.

Tamsin was about to get up and leave when her phone rang. "Excuse me, doctor." It was Dyson, so she took the call. "Hello?"

_"Tamsin, Bo is missing."_

"Uh-huh…"

The valkyrie could feel her plan falling to pieces around here. Every single one of Bo's 'friends' were going to ruin the ending. Dyson's gruff voice continued on the other end of the line.

_"She left sometime last night. I thought she might show up at my place, but she hasn't. I think I know where she might have gone and I want to you to come along."_

Tamsin audibly hissed and walked away from where Lauren could overhear. "Yeah, about that. I'm doing some Dark Fae stuff right now…"

_"Please, Tamsin. She was preparing for The Dawning with Trick, and I think she might have gone down to the sacred grounds alone."_

Tamsin nearly crushed the phone in her hand. _Damn wolves, and their need to stick their noses in everything! _she thought.

"Alright…" she conceded. "Meet me at The Dal; then we'll leave."

_"Sure," _Dyson answered and then hung up. She couldn't let Dyson go down there without her. If he found Bo before her ,the Under Fae would spend the rest of its life in a cage. And Bo hadn't wanted that.

"You're going to The Dal?" Lauren suddenly piped in from behind.

_This is why! This is why I prefer to work ALONE! _Tamsin tilted her head and tried make her smile look like she wasn't thinking of killing anyone. She wasn't sure if it had worked…

"Yes. I'm going to help Dyson find Bo."

"You wouldn't mind taking me with you, would you?" Lauren had asked the question like she expected an answer, but she was putting on her coat like Tamsin's answer didn't matter. "Just to The Dal, I mean."

"Sure," Tamsin responded through clenched teeth.

_Could things get any better?_

* * *

Bo held her arms closely to herself, squatting at the edge of the underground river. She saw well in the dark, every pebble near the edge of the water was as clear to her as if she was holding it in her hand.

She could still smell the trace of blood on her skin, though the stains were long removed from her constant traveling. Bo brought her hand to her face, and with a wetted tongue, licked the dirt and flavor of blood from her palm. The Under Fae felt a want, a deep desire to consume the keeper of such a delectable taste. The creature had been following a scent and waiting for night to walk the surface world since she had been shot at and chased. She followed the river, and when she had to cross, looked down into the water at her reflection.

Her head titled as she starred into burgundy eyes and noticed skin the color of lead and short, sharp horns that bent backwards.

Such a beast did not deserve the beauty she was hunting.


	3. The Faent of Heart

Chapter 3: The Faent of Heart

Tamsin walked into the Dal Riatta with the human doctor on her heels. Dyson was waiting with an empty glass in his hand at the bar, never mind that it was only a little past noon.

"Ready?" he asked, nodding his farewell to Trick before rising to leave.

"So ready," Tamsin answered with that cool look of having everything under control 100% of the time. In reality, she was about ready to start a bar fight and take these Light Fae and their pet to town.

Lauren chimed in not a moment too late, intrusive as all get out. "Where are you going? What's going on?"

Dyson was the one to respond to her. "I think I know where Bo went: the proving grounds to go through with her ceremony – alone."

The human shook her head. "No. No, Bo wouldn't do that without us."

Tamsin tried swallowing her tongue but was largely unsuccessful. Her mind was so occupied on figuring out how to go about murdering what was once Bo that she didn't notice the newest arrival until they were speaking.

"Sorry, Doctor Denial," Kenzi interrupted. She then held up a piece of fabric, the kind that Tamsin recognized on the spot. "Dyson's right, and I've got the leather to prove it."

Tamsin grabbed it immediately. "Where did you get that?"

Kenzi took a step back in shock at the attack. "Take a chill pill, Tammy."

The room erupted into loud assumptions and second-rate plans on how to deal with what had more than likely happened, while Tamsin tried to tell Kenzi to never call her that again.

From beside the valkerie, Lauren finally put two and two together. "Your arm. Your arm has cuts that are consistent with the Under Fae I studied last year."

Dyson's nostrils flared. "What? Tamsin," he accused, "what haven't you told us?"

The Fae slowly tried to make her way to the door. Everyone, including Trick and especially Lauren were giving her death glares.

"Alright, everybody. Let's just keep our heads about this. Bo needed my help."

Lauren scoffed. "Needed _your_ help?"

"Yes!" Tamsin spat back. "She couldn't face disappointing her little happy sunshine gang, and she asked me to meet her at the proving grounds." Everyone but Lauren and Kenzi had put together the rest: that Tamsin was the succubus's back up plan. The valkyrie was almost at the door. "She… she didn't make it." The blonde dropped her head to finish, "I had to kill her."

Where there was chaos before, only silence remained. If Tamsin was lucky, the group would buy the falsehood long enough for her to make it a fact. It wasn't to be. Lauren walked up to Tamisn with determination in her eyes. Bo couldn't be dead. It was childish, but she felt like she would know it if that had happened; if the succubus was gone from the earth forever.

"You're lying," Lauren responded, suspect of the valkerie for more probable reasons that she was about to state. "Look at your clothes. You've been chasing something. You said so yourself, back at Bo's place, that you were on the hunt. But you're hunting Bo, aren't you?"

Tamsin huffed, her teeth grating on their counterparts. "All of you stay back!" The order went unheeded. All around her, people were closing in, but she couldn't let them stop her. "Fine." There would be consequences for what she was about to do, but acceptance of them would have to wait for another time. Her eyes began to turn black until it looked like she had none at all. A gaunt skull appeared in place of her features as she did a sweep around the room, meeting everyone's eyes a pair at a time. Doubt and intimidation poured into their minds. Moments later, she left them reeling – human and Fae alike were backing away as they muttered to themselves.

They were in no capacity to search for Bo now – half of them weren't even sure she was really gone. It was going to give Tamsin exactly the kind of time she needed, but it was a shame she wouldn't be able to ask Kenzi where she had found the piece of Bo's jacket.

No, Kenzi was on the ground. Dark hair wrapped over her sputtering mouth as she contorted on the wooden floorboards. With a sigh, Tamsin left the bar and reaffirmed what she'd always believed: no matter how much she liked someone – she had to make them go.

Better to deal with the people she didn't like. Better to call Vex and his groupies, at least then she would have compliant eyes in numerous places.

* * *

Lauren was the first to really come to from the valkyrie's hit. Something about the way Kenzi was convulsing brought her around to the knowledge that she needed to do something – that she _could_ do something. She was a doctor, and a life in her hands left no room for uncertainty.

"Dyson!" she shouted, whacking the man who was leaning over the bar and contemplating if he even liked himself. "I need you to turn Kenzi on her side." The smack to his shoulder was enough to get him to look the young human's way. He went to her side and turned her gently.

For a second, Lauren was unsure of what to do next. She shook her head trying to clear the fog. All she wanted to think about was Bo. Did Bo really love her? A doctor couldn't afford to think like that. She walked to Dyson and maneuvered his hand to rest under Kenzi's head to keep from hitting it.

"Stay like this," she ordered. "Trick, get a wet cloth. Cold water, please."

The bartender walked to the trio, rag in his hand. "I wasn't sure which nozzle the cold one was, so I turned both."

Lauren scowled but took the rag anyway. It was only a bit cooler than room temperature, but it would have to do. She held it to Kenzi's forehead and that seemed to help. The blonde looked Kenzi over for injuries; there were some small contusions on one arm but nothing serious. She didn't know how often a valkyrie put their victims into a seizure or what to except of it, but she would make Kenzi's health her priority. Bo, who loved her or not, wouldn't want it any other way.

She pulled a cellphone from her pocket and dialed the Ash.

"Hello, I'm at the Dal Riatta and I need a medical transport, now."

* * *

"Thank you for your help, Dyson." Lauren laid a hand on the wolf-man's shoulder. As much negative emotion as she harbored for the man, she never could deny the facts that at one time he was paramount to Bo's happiness and that he was a good friend to the people she cared about most.

"I still can't believe Tamsin did that – to all of us." Dyson looked back at Kenzi, who he had just carried over to the couch. "Are you sure she will be okay here?"

Lauren perked an eyebrow at the fact that he was actually questioning the Ash's best physician.

The Fae chuckled, all throaty and hollow-chested. "Of course she will. You're her doctor, after all."

"Are you going to look for Bo now?"

Dyson nodded. "Kenzi's lead is hours old, but… I'll find her. Don't go outside when night falls. It won't be safe."

Lauren's head fell. "I know what she's capable of, Dyson."

Goodbyes were for people who cared to give them, neither of them did, so Dyson left the shack and Lauren went back to Kenzi. She had been sleeping since the ride home. Lauren moved the girl's bangs off of her forehead. She was wistful and she knew it. Acceptance that Bo was lost to her forever would not come. It could have been because of Tamsin's whammy, but Lauren knew better. She couldn't quit Bo the way she had quit Nadia. Her old love was lost to time, and when she awoke, all that was kissing her on the other end was a shade of her former affection. She stayed with Nadia out of a need for loyalty; it was the same thing that had brought her back to Lachlan.

Loyalty for Bo was nothing compared to the utter despair she knew she would feel if she let herself succumb to the facts of Bo's condition. Determination had seen her though Afghanistan, it had seen her through the Congo, and it would see her through this. There had to be something she could do for Bo.

Lauren suddenly remembered the tonic she had helped Trick prepare for Bo to still her Fae devolution. The woman rose from the couch and located a notepad and pen from her purse to write down, step by step, what Trick had made her do. She analyzed each of the components and how they interacted with each other. Before she knew it, the page was amassed with scrawled chemical formulas and equations to make any tenured professor proud. With a sample of Under Fae tissue, perhaps she could identify what about the tonic made it work. If she could take that – amplify its effects and weaponize it-

The doctor was already at the door before she remembered Dyson's warning. It wasn't safe to be out at night, and the sun had set an hour ago. She was only walking to the car she reasoned, and with that focus that had saved lives more than once, she put lives in extreme danger.

"Oh my god."

Lauren dropped her notebook, the pen clattering to the floor behind it. Just beyond the empty doorway was a creature of gray flesh and dark hair. Its teeth glistened in the light emanating from the shack. Lauren recognized the Under Fae immediately. The leather, the posture, the angle of its nose; Bo had come back to her.

"Bo." Lauren carefully tried to back up and reach for the door that she had opened. "I'm going to find a way to help you." The doctor didn't know what she was thinking. She was half-tempted to invite the creature in, wondering if maybe she could lock it up in the bathroom – the only space in the house with a complete set of walls and a door. A different part of her told her to leave the monster outside and call Dyson.

Bo's mannerisms were awash with tension. Her skin was sweaty, and her lungs expanded and shrunk like someone who had just finished a marathon. Lauren was desperate to believe she could be the calming factor Bo needed. The blonde held her breathe and slowly reached out. Bo did nothing but stand there, shoulders rigid and blood dripping from miniscule nicks all over her body. The woman's hand was only inches away when she ran out of time.

From the couch, and in her sleep, Kenzi gave voice to a dream. "No," she mumbled. "Tell Vex that mascara looks awful on him."

The Under Fae appeared to listen, turning her head so that one ear was facing the living room. A second later, she snapped her jaw, grabbed the doctor's wrist and rushed at her. The wind was knocked out of the blonde when they hit the floor. Lauren's back sent a signal to her brain, telling her that she needed to be in a dear amount of pain. The injuries sustained from the succubus couldn't handle the force of the tackle, and Lauren groaned. There was little time for her to regain her composure before Bo cried out too – her scream akin to the voice of the possessed. It was all nails on a chalkboard until it was met by other howls, haunting and in unison, coming from outside.

Lauren squirmed her way from beneath Bo and saw Dyson panting in the doorway – a rifle in his hand. Pairs of yellow, glowing eyes came out of the darkness at the level of Dyson's knees. It was obvious now that he had used members of his own kind to chase her down. She didn't spare him another second of her time, and instead turned to the Under Fae. Sticking from her back was a feathered dart. Bo's hand was still around Lauren's wrist, and it constricted tightly until the effects of the tranquilizer finished kicking in. Carefully, Lauren grabbed the bolt and pulled it from Bo's flesh.

"Are you hurt?" Dyson asked, loading another dart in case the first was inadequate.

Her reply was curt. "I'm fine. Was that really necessary?" One of Bo's supposed friends had just used a pack of wild dogs to hunt her down; as such, the doctor had reason to be more than a little rude.

"You tell me," he barked back. "Did I or did I not just keep her from tearing you apart?"

"She didn't attack until _you_ shot her."

Dyson snarled; then slung the gun over his shoulder and moved to collect his prey.

"_Don't_ hurt her," Lauren threatened before letting him continue.

Kenzi had appeared behind the doctor sometime during the exchange. The pair of them observed a couple of men, clothed only in pants and as exhausted as Dyson had been, help him carry Bo's body away.

The young woman looked exhausted, and still a little confused, but asked Lauren, "Where are they taking her?"

"To Trick's."

Watching the Fae put Bo into a cage inside the back of a van that had just rolled up the drive, Lauren realized she had a lot of work ahead of her. She held up the dart and started at the blood on the tip. It wasn't a good enough sample to start her experiments with, but neither were the drying stains on her shirt from Bo's wounds. She would have to follow Dyson and the others to the Dal and pray that Bo would remain unconscious long enough for her to collect what she required.

The space between her shoulders was still sore, but no more so than the cavity of her chest. A phantom pain in her heart lingered long after Bo was gone.

* * *

**Thank you, everyone who has read and everyone who has been reviewing! I appreciate it, dearly. I would just like to take a few more seconds of your time to ask how I'm doing – character-wise, writing-wise. Is there anything you think could use improvement? I feel like I don't know the characters as well as I would like to, but how are they to you so far? Thanks again, and I hope this story has been helping you pass the time until the next episode airs.**


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